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Raising Young Children in a
Work at Home Environment
It is
possible to turn your feelings of being overwhelmed by your
work at home job into a beautiful mosaic...
with each piece fitting perfectly into the wonderful work at home
lifestyle you've created for yourself and your family.
By Linda M. Hamer
Moms and Dads who work at home know the many challenges of being a parent
and trying to work at home at the same time. If not done properly, this
work at home arrangement can be a constant juggling act, one that few
people are able to continue for long without feeling that they are putting
one part of their life ahead of another. Unless you take the right steps
to avoid it, the guilt and stress may slowly seep into your day, the
collision of family into the business world, and vice versa. Many
home-based businesses falter because of this, but it doesn't have to be
that way! It is possible to turn your feelings of being overwhelmed by
responsibility to your kids and responsibility to your work at home job
into a beautiful mosaic... with each piece fitting perfectly into the
wonderful work at home lifestyle you've created for yourself and your
family.
Easier said than done, right? Wrong! If you already work at home, then
chances are that your bookshelf is lined with business research and
reference books. There are dozens of "Golden Rules" and countless books on
the topic of children in the workplace. The advice from "experts" can be
overwhelming, if not misleading. If you are new to the work at home
community, save yourself some research and read on.
What it all comes down to is respect for the boundaries and limits that
you need to set. Teaching your children to respect your work at home job,
your papers and work space, your schedule and responsibilities a gradual
process, one that is counterbalanced by your respect for their needs. In
order to find this balance, it's important to make your children feel
welcome and involved. As a mother of three, I've found that it's much
simpler to include them in my day than to exclude them. Each of them have
a logo shirt "uniform" that they wear when they come on deliveries with
me. My six-year-old son wears his with pride as often as he can, even to
school or out to dinner. He is so proud that his mommy is "the candy lady"
in town. There is pride. There is respect. I get to work at home. I can't
ask for more than that.
Here is how you can accomplish the impossible by weaving boundaries and
respect into the fabric of your day:
- RESPECT FOR YOUR WORK AT HOME JOB OR BUSINESS: If this is a new work
at home job or business, give your child time to adjust to the fact that
you work at home. Talk about it, ask them for help in the planning
stages, etc. Invite them on an informative tour of your work at home
office. It is at this time that you will set very important boundaries
and limits, the code of conduct for all family members as it relates to
your work at home jobs and the ground rules. For example, I have a stop
sign at the entrance to my workshop and my children have learned to
honor and respect it unless there is an emergency.
- RESPECT FOR THE NEEDS OF YOUR CHILD: Keep your priorities in mind.
Your child must come first. That doesn't mean that you should put every
customer on hold because your child is interrupting you, or allow
activities that will damage your work at home career, product or
business reputation. It does mean that you must teach your child the
difference between "needs" and "wants". The younger your child, the less
they will understand this. Make it your job to take care of their needs
before they become a distraction in your day and teach your children to
respect your work at home job and help you create the work at home
environment that you need in order to work effectively. Become an expert
at Kiddie Triage, anticipate their needs.
- RESPECT FOR YOURSELF AND THE LIFESTYLE YOU ARE CREATING: Understand
that your work at home business or work at home job will prosper if you
prosper as a parent. You will be happier and you will live in better
emotional health if you take control of your day. If at all possible,
schedule your work at home hours to accomodate them while they are
young. Make your outgoing business calls during naps or while their
favorite TV show is on. Catch up on paperwork and internet business
early (before they awake) or late in the day (after they are in bed). My
children were only 3,5, & 7 when I opened my business and started to
work at home, and I learned very quickly that I had to control my work
at home calendar or it would control me. My days were pure chaos to the
untrained eye, but it was heaven to me.
- RESPECT FOR THE LITTLE LIFE IN YOUR HANDS: Even when you work at
home, it is so easy to get caught up in pleasing your employer or
running your business. Tell your children how lucky you are to be with
them during the day (because you are!) and to be able to work at home.
Lots of kisses and hugs in between phone calls go a long way. Their time
with you is precious, so don't squander it. You're lucky to be able to
work at home. Enjoy your lunches together, hang up their artwork in your
work at home office, and take an interest in what your chatterbox has to
say.
When you work at home you do truly have the opportunity to have it
all. Give yourself permission to enjoy it all. These are the magic years,
and you are the magician.
Linda M. Hamer is a work at home parent, freelance
writer, wife, and mother of three. She is the owner / designer of a
home-based Candy Bouquet franchise in Northern New Jersey, serves on the
Candy Bouquet International Advisory Board, and is a Mentor to NJ area
franchisees. Linda is the Vice-President of the Jefferson Township Chamber
of Commerce. She can be reached online at NJcandylady@aol.com
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